Pornhub and Domino’s? When Porn, Pizza, and Asphalt Collide

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When one thinks of porn and pizza delivery boys, what might come to mind is plowing and filling, but if you’re like me, infrastructure! So let’s talk about roads. We oftentimes don’t love them, but we do need them. For decades, the construction and maintenance of roads have been commonly understood to be the responsibility of the government. After all, we pay for them in taxes, toll booths, and car registration fees. But libertarians have been decrying the necessity of government control of the roads for just as long as people have been claiming it is exclusively its responsibility. Most claim that not only could private companies provide a higher quality of service, but could do so at a significantly cheaper price to the individual citizen as well. Many non-libertarians scoff at such an idea, as it is so radically different from what they have known their entire lives. “Maybe it would work, but it’s never been done before, right?” While that may have been the case prior to recent history, things have changed. Pornhub and Domino’s changed things too.

As an East Coast snowstorm shut down roads across major cities such as Boston and New York in early 2017, people were unable to go through their normal daily routines. Even worse, the city’s budget for snow removal was almost dry. A crisis emerged. If the single entity that is responsible for clearing the roads runs out of money in the budget set aside specifically for that task, who will do it? A hero was needed, and PornHub, one of the most popular adult content hosting websites in the world, was ready to strap on in and take the plunge. When even the local government couldn’t penetrate the snowed-in city, the company quickly sprung into action and assumed the position of paying for the roads to be vigorously plowed. PornHub erected a fleet of white trucks bearing their logo to bring the snow into submission. They even took requests online through email and social media for certain roads to be cleared of the thick white substance. All they asked in return was for satisfied people to post with a hashtag for the company, which provided the company with free advertising. The roads were plowed, with some becoming wider than they had been before the snowstorm itself. Traffic was freed up to effortlessly come in and out of the city. All the while, the government had to sit and watch, wanting to be involved but incapable of doing so.

But snowstorms are relegated to winter time, and that was during an uncharacteristically heavy flow of snow. What about the rest of the year, when other, darker needs arise? Potholes have become a nuisance in almost every major city in the US, and government’s impotent attempts to fix them have become a running joke among many Americans. Yet, most recently, pizza provider Domino’s has pledged to pay for the repairs of the most vital parts of the domestic American economy. Two days after the launch of this deliciously satisfying campaign, hundreds of potholes around the country have already been repaired. Slices of the American heartland are being branded by Domino’s by way of their deep-dish generosity. If the trend continues, American roads will be peppered with Domino’s logos, and that is a thing to be celebrated. Where the crusty US government cannot provide, a spicy private sector company will step in. In a manner decidedly bolder than their marinara sauce, Domino’s has proven this concept in more important ways than the government could or would.

Although it may sound cheesy, we should be on our knees thanking companies like Domino’s and PornHub for doing a far better job, and for far less than our own government. Especially when it comes to something that has nothing to do with what their normal businesses seek to accomplish. This is a solid proof of concept that the government is not needed to provide certain tasks, regardless of how firmly people grip the idea that only the government can provide it. But even then, we don’t have to wing it or buffalo our way into other people taking care of it for us. Put those ideas out to pasture at the ranch, and embrace free market solutions to our everyday problems. The roads are only the beginning.

You can read more from William Gadsden here.

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