His Majesty’s Media Presents: President Donald Trump’s Weekly Address – 7/28/17


This week we were treated to a healthy dose of patriotism regarding our military by our illustrious Commander in Chief.

“My fellow Americans, this past week we have celebrated, saluted, and honored American Heroes who have devoted their lives to God, Family, and Country.”

He graced us with tales of his travels across the great American Landscape in which he saluted troops on the USS Gerald Ford, the “Newest and Most Advanced Aircraft Carrier in the History of the World”, he bestowed a “very special award” upon a “heroic military survivor from the Pearl Harbor Attack, long ago, but he’s still in great shape!” He awarded the Medal of Valor to the police officers who responded when a gunman opened fire on lawmakers at a baseball practice. He spoke to law enforcement officers in New York who are “going after violent criminals and MS13 gang members, and restoring safety and peace to our communities.”

“ALL AMERICAN HEROES whether they patrol our oceans, protect our capital, safeguard our streets or serve in many other ways, share a common bond: THEY BELIEVE in AMERICA. They love our citizens, and they will stop at nothing to defend our safety and our freedom.”

He encouraged us to “build an America that is worthy of their sacrifices.” He spoke on behalf of all of us when he declared that “our hearts are filled with pride and gratitude” at their “American Spirit, Love, Courage, and Sacrifice.”

“Our heroes show us who we are.”
“Every CItizen is capable of greatness.”

Very presidential, Your Majesty. Second only to Abraham Lincoln.

Of course, we are all aware of the other statements that our Great Leader has made this week on Twitter:

“After consultation with my Generals and military experts, please be advised that the United States Government will not accept or allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the US Military. Our military must be focused on decisive and overwhelming victory, and cannot be burdened with the tremendous medical costs and disruption that transgender in the military would entail.”

Whether or not the President’s tweets count as official statements is up for debate, but the current Press Secretary seemed to double down on it at Wednesday’s press briefing. In light of the subject matter of this most recent weekly address, the ability the President to cause division by trolling the public does not appear to have diminished.

His Majesty concludes by reminding us of all the good that he has done for us, which included vague comments about jobs and the stock market.

“Look at so many things where we’re just getting BIGGER, BETTER, and STRONGER”

To drive the point home (in case anyone hasn’t been paying attention), His Majesty tells us explicitly what all of his hard work this past week was really about:

“Never forget our Military, where we’re adding BILLIONS and BILLIONS of DOLLARS of new planes, new ships, and new equipment for our great soldiers and military personnel. After all, HEROES are MADE in AMERICA and we have to take care of our heroes.”

If your knee-jerk response to that statement has anything to do with “muh transgenders”, then you’re missing the point. Marginalizing groups of people is bad. Very bad. Redirecting this country’s resources into a massive expansion of the Military Industrial Complex is exponentially worse.


You can read more by Jason Gillam on Think Liberty here.


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